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- Tony, had a serious gambling problem, every time he came home his wife would ask him how much money he lost at the casino. Then one night, Tony didn't come home at all. Finally he arrived home at 9 AM. His wife was furious at him. Tony smiled at her and said, 'I have something to confess, I was at the bar last night, got drunk, and went home with the barmaid. We had the most incredible sex ever.' 'Don't give me that rubbish,' his wife snapped. 'Come on, tell me, how much did you lose last night?'
- Bubba is put before the judge's bench because he is on trial for paying a prostitute for sex. "How do you plead?" asks the judge, to the defendant. "Not Guilty, your honor." Showing him a videotape of the alleged act, the prosecutor responds, "How can you possibly convince the court of your innocence, if we have both the sex act, plus your subsequent payment to the alleged prostitute right here on tape?" "Easy," says Bubba, "I'll admit to the court that although I wasn't engaged in an act of prostitution, I was committing another 'heinous' crime, gambling." "Gambling?" responds the prosecutor, "How so?" " Well you see," answers Bubba, "I went up to the young lady earlier that night as she was working in a topless bar and said to her, 'I'll bet you $200 that you don't get to have sex with me tonight'. That videotape is just footage of me losing the bet!"
